Destroy My Childhood, Make Lots of Money

There’s been a recent wave of new movie promotions for films that take books, TV, etc. that I recall from childhood and “re-imagine” them.  For instance:

“Tangled”, the NEW Rapunzel, because the OLD Rapunzel was just so old and didn’t remind us nearly enough of NINJA SCROLL.  Disney decided adding anime Attack Hair and a Snarky Animal Sidekick would reboot this fairytale, because fairytales are not timeless and need rebooting ALL THE TIME or kids will not like them anymore.  Plus, you can re-merchandize them this way.

SPEAKING OF MERCHANDISE!!  There is this singer (pop music) who’s pretty popular in the ‘Disney circuit’, so instead of creating a vehicle for her to make money (I’m looking at you, Mr. Effron) they just pulled a book from my childhood bookshelf to Disney-fy.  There was even a TV series.  Now this:

I am sure Selena is totes selling a million billion CDs OMG!!

Also, a sultry blonde has been cast as “Tink“, but I’m not even going to complain, because let’s be honest – at least it’s not Julia Roberts (again)!

I am so gentle and kind.  This is why I make a good blogger.


2 responses to “Destroy My Childhood, Make Lots of Money

  1. I like how the girl they cast as Beezus is very clearly Mexican and her little sister is white as the driven snow. It leads one to believe her mom had an affair with the taco truck driver. And possibly that 90% of America has never seen a Mexican girl before.

    • Oh, you mean SELENA GOMEZ? No, she is not of Hispanic decent AT ALL. White people are always naming their kids like that.

      (I thought the same thing.)

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